Sunday, February 17, 2008
NEWS FLASH: Suburban Middle Class Leftist Drones On Cutting Edge Of Rebellion
In an amazing development, it was found recently that many middle class suburbanites hold in scorn the free system they live under, particularly its -- relatively -- free economy. While expressing their hatred toward materialism and personal indulgence, a high percentage of spoiled brats from the middle and upper middle classes (wealthy movie stars, directors, and entertainers were left out of the survey) expressed a nagging need for a new laptop and I-pod and said they deserved another vacation this year to an exotic developing country to show their solidarity with "the poor and oppressed."
While conflict in Iraq figured high on their list of complaints toward the evil American empire (seen by most as the cause of all evil in the world), all other wars were okay with them as long as they helped to "spread the revolution." While "lust for oil" was also high on the list of "bad things" it was given scant attention due to a perceived need for Communist China to economically overtake the U.S. as a superpower -- also, designer clothing is sometimes made from petroleum products.
Some in the survey could not be reached for comment as they were busy helping to build a new world, snowboarding, downloading music, or playing video games.
